There are two types of people: the ones who love to make new year’s resolutions, and the ones who think this is all silly. I’m not ashamed to be part of the new year’s resolutions camp. I love new beginnings. I was the kid who loved going shopping for new notebooks before each school year; the promise of a new start; a blank page. Each year I put some thought into meaningful resolutions for the new year. Here are my 5 resolutions for 2019:
1. Write More (hence the blog)
Confession, I’ve been paying for this website/blog for the past two years. My sister Andrea designed it for me as a birthday present a couple of years ago, because I said I was interested in doing some writing on a particular topic. But, I didn’t have the discipline to write or the courage to make the website public, until now. I decided it’s time to start writing — not so much on that particular topic anymore, but for my own enjoyment, development and reflection. The blog will help but I imagine most of my writing will be private.
2. Focus on One Task/Activity/Person at a Time
I have long believed that multitasking is a really bad habit, but it is still a habit I stubbornly practice. I have known that multitasking is really a misnomer. When we multitask, we are not really focusing on several things at the same time; we are actually shifting from one activity/task to another over and over again. It’s not a good practice. I also remember reading a study several years ago that found that people who are present to what they are doing in the moment are more satisfied than people who daydream, even if the daydreams are pleasant. I believe that wholeheartedly. But, it is still something I struggle with.
Multitasking is not just related to checking my email while participating in a conference call. It’s also thinking about something I need to do while my 8 year-old tells me a long story about a video game, or running through the day events in my mind when I’m tucked in bed getting ready to sleep.
Lately I have been practicing being more mindful and present to the moment. Just today I caught myself multitasking several times: for instance, trying to remember my shopping list while listening to an audiobook in the car. In moments like that, I have been telling myself either “focus on the one task”, or “be here, please.” One strategy I find very helpful in focusing myself in the present moment or task/person/activity is to connect with my five senses. I ask myself, “What do you hear? What do you see? What do you taste? What do you smell? What do you feel? (Externally and internally)”. This really helps to ground me to the present moment and it’s a sure way to fall asleep at night when my mind is racing everywhere. Which relates to my next goal:
3. Wake Up Earlier (aka Go To Bed Earlier)
I am a night owl, which means I usually stay up until the last possible moment, and likewise get up at the last possible moment. For the past few years, that means I have been getting up exactly 30 minutes or less before I need to head out the door (unless my husband is out of town and I need to get the kids and dog ready and fed).
During the summer, when I didn’t have to drop the kids off to school quite as early, I got up around the same time as usual and took our dog Rocket for a brief jog in the mornings. It was really nice! I thought I might keep it up during the Fall, but I was back in my pattern as soon as school was back in session.
This year, I would like to see what it would be like to actually have time in the mornings for exercise or meditation, or a cup of coffee at home, or simply to enjoy getting ready without feeling rushed.
4. Do Things Differently
I want to take more risks this year. I want to try different approaches to the same problems or processes, and be more creative in the ways I go about my work and relationships. This past year I read the book, Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected by Tania Luna and Leeann Reninger, and it really ignited my imagination. I decided I want to engineer more surprises in my life.
5. Bring Joy
If I were to choose only one resolution for this year, it would be this one. It is perhaps the end result of the first four resolutions; however, I also think it is an active goal. I think about it as the reverse question made famous by Marie Kondo in her bestselling book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
In 2014, Kondo made several converts to her organization/de-cluterring principles. To be honest, I have never actually read this book, but I heard about it from many different sources and it’s still on my to-read list (though now that she has published a second book, Spark Joy, that will probably be the one I read). The premise of the book, as I understand it, is to ask this simple question about everything you own: “Does it bring me joy?” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, chuck it.
I love the premise of this and how it can be translated to many other life elements. But, this year, I would like my question to be, “Do I bring joy to this person? To this job? To this situation?”
Joy and humor have always been important to me, and I know I ‘m not unique. Lately, however, I have felt a need to reconnect with my sense of joy and humor, both at work and in my relationships. I have been too attached to a need of getting things right, or too stressed or too worried. I have caught myself being short with my kids, and thinking sadly that I don’t want the “stressed mommy” to be their primary memory of me. I want them to remember me as someone who found joy despite the circumstances, and I want to help them experience the same.
Cheers to the new year! May you be the recipient and giver of joy.